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Since Buttercup was a newborn, she’s been able to sit through short “one sentence per page” books.  She loves stories, and it reminds me so much of myself.  I’ve always loved the classic fairytales even as an adult.  I’m devoted to the originals, but Disney is down with me, too.

There’s an elemental beauty there - the stories are told with such texture and color.  They remind me of tapestries, and if I could illustrate the classic fairy tales - it would be through tapestries and embroidery.  There’s nothing else that would give them the same raised height - almost like reading Braille - that they had from my childhood perspective.

Having said that, some of these stories are pretty intense.  Buttercup is a sensitive little person.  I think it was Snow White that pushed me over the edge.  I started editing the classics for her.  In a way, this was hard for me to do at first - I felt like I was committing some kind of literary crime.  Now, I don’t care at all.  These are some prime examples of what I’m talking about.

Snow White:  This is a classic.  She’s always loved Snow White.  I think what drew her in was the animals in the beginning of the story when Snow White is lost in the woods, and the animals come to help her.  She loves looking at all those adorable characters.  But before that, there’s the scene with the huntsman who takes her into the woods to kill her and ends up leaving her - well, that’s been changed by yours truly.  Instead, he’s taking her on a walk in the woods, and they get lost.  Clean cut there.  Next, when the Queen comes back and gives her a poison apple - oh, forget that altogether.  Snow White goes to sleep in her glass coffin or whatever it is, and the prince gives her a kiss to wake her up.  That’s my latest version of Snow White.

Anything referring to a cat as a p-u-s-s-y:  Okay.  I’m probably going to get all kinds of bizarre traffic from that statement, hence the dashes.  I don’t want my two-year old running around saying p-u-s-s-y in public.  No more to say on that topic.

Beauty and the Beast:  The worst part of this one is simply when the father leaves Belle with the Beast.  Oh, hell to the no.  This one drives my husband nuts.  He also doesn’t like the beast in general.  I’m kind of with him on that.  I mean, it does have value as far as appearances aren’t always what they seem; don’t read a book by its cover, and a bunch of other random clichés on human nature.  I really don’t care.  Daddy doesn’t leave his daughter with a beast.  Her interest in the story has been increased by my repeatedly skipping it, but I’ll figure that out as we go along.

There are more - lots of little nursery rhymes/stories that she loves but are so oddly inappropriate.  For instance, last one, I promise, and maybe taken out of context, nevertheless…

Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman.
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.

I’m French-Irish, and I still have to disagree with this one.  I know the English have had their moments that may or may not have led to massive populations of people disliking them a great deal, but we can’t start her off by teaching her revenge and death are the way to go.  Nevertheless, she loves shouting, “Fee, Fie, Foe, Fum!”  My little giant, it’s really amusing, but I dislike it.

So, I’m thinking that because of her ability to sit through longer children’s stories, we’re just going to have to be careful to remember she’s our two-year old audience.  Parental supervision is required.  I don’t know what I’ll do when she learns to read, but as my father says, “One crisis at a time.”

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